


In the Hour of Darkness

by CountlessUntruths (KaliCephirot)



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Foursome, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-14
Updated: 2009-06-14
Packaged: 2018-09-02 02:00:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8647414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaliCephirot/pseuds/CountlessUntruths
Summary: Kanda, Allen, Lenalee, Lavi and the things that, no matter what happens tomorrow, they will never forget.





	

**In the Hour of Darkness**   
__Now I know it's true  
My every road leads to you  
And in the hour of darkness darlin'  
Your light gets me through  
“I Will Always Return”, Bryan Adams  & Hans Zimmer 

Lavi's voice, constant and rough. He's been talking for hours, non-stop. Allen keeps his head pressed against his shoulder, and he keeps his hand playing with Lenalee's hair. Kanda hasn't moved from the corner he has been on for hours, as if he was sleeping, Mugen resting against his shoulder.

“-- and then that mountain of paperwork fell over and we spent like three weeks fixing it, and still Komui ruined that in a second. I was so mad then! And I also remember--”

“I remember when you came here,” Lenalee says, her voice soft. Lavi shuts up without a say, and his hand, which had been curled on Lenalee's shoulder, tightens a little bit. “How you looked back then. How... distant you were.”

“... are we gonna talk about that?” Lavi asks in a low murmur, and Allen shifts a little to look at his face, at the way that Lavi's face still seems naked without his eyepatch, despite the fact that it's been months since he stopped using it, after Bookman left.

Lenalee doesn't say yes or no to that, but she rolls, so that instead of curling over her side, her head on Lavi's lap, she's on her back, looking at them both, a faint smile on her lips. They can hear the noise of everyone rushing outside, a thousand preparations that are still needed and a thousand more than won't ever get done on time, and perhaps they should go and gather with everyone, but Allen can't quite bring himself to offer that, not when right here and now he feels almost, almost human.

“And I remember when Allen came here as well.” Lenalee adds, her eyes on Allen's but he knows her smile is for Kanda. “How Kanda attacked you and how scared you looked.”

Allen huffs. “He still owes me that, stupid Kanda.”

“As if, Beansprout,” Kanda mutters without moving from his corner.

Lavi snorts a laugh, tilting his head, brushing a kiss against Allen's forehead that is nothing but mocking, but Allen remains too comfortable to actually move on his threat. Instead he brushes his thumb against Lenalee's face, softly.

“I remember the first time I fought together with each one of you. The first time in my life that I knew that someone was watching my back.”

He wonders if Lavi will make the added joke of 'besides the Fourteenth, of course', something that, over the years, had become less irritating and just part of Lavi being Lavi and trying to help him in his own bizarre way.

Lenalee's smile goes even more brittle, and Allen feels Lavi's arm tighten around him instead of him making a joke, but he's not embarrassed by confessing this. It's important, he thinks, to get these things out while they can. None of them will say this, of course, but he knows they're all thinking it: they might not get another chance to say how thankful they are, how much they appreciate the fact that even for a short time their lives where threaded together.

After a few moments of almost completely comfortable silence, Lavi clears his throat, turning to look towards Kanda's corner.

“Something to share with the class, Yuu?”

Kanda huffs, and Allen is almost certain that he won't say anything at all, and then: “You're loud, the Beansprout's annoying, Lenalee's clingy.”

There's a moment of startled silence before Lenalee's giggles break free, she turning around to press her face against Lavi's stomach and laugh, Lavi also breaking into infectious laughter: soon Allen's doing the same, laughing so hard that he's almost crying.

“That's Kanda for 'I care',” Lenalee manages to gasp between her laughter.

“Now tell us how you really feel, Kanda,” Allen mutters once he manages to stop laughing, feeling the way his body relaxes after that.

Kanda just huffs again, glaring at the wall, and Allen has to resist the sudden urge just to thank him for this brief moment of laughter, how the warmth of that had seeped through his body, untying, even for a moment, the uncertainty of tomorrow. There are things that need to be said, but there are others that are better left unsaid.

There's silence, after that, and Allen is sure that none of them need Lavi to actually tell them that he remembers everything that he has lived with them, much more than the funny anecdotes he told them for almost two hours straight to keep their minds from the battle to come. But then Lavi rolls his shoulders and he looks towards the ceiling, his voice soft:

“I'll always remember being 'Lavi' with you, no matter what.”

Allen hears the way Lenalee's breath hitches, and he feels his own chest hurt: perhaps because it's the first time that any of them has said anything about the future, the fact that it's Lavi the one who says that making it all the more painful when they can't be sure they'll ever see another sunrise again.

Kanda curses and he stands up, leaving Mugen there on the floor, and before Allen and Lenalee have managed to untangle themselves from the sprawl-cuddle pile they had done with Lavi, Kanda reaches for him: Allen barely starts reaching to stop Kanda from hitting Lavi, but Kanda doesn't hit him: instead Allen blinks and gapes as Kanda kisses Lavi harshly, a hand fisted on red hair and the other one knotted on a shoulder. Allen sees the moment where Lavi's shock dissolves and he closes his eyes to return the kiss, reaching a hand to Kanda's shirt, and he sees how Lenalee's own surprise shifts, and with her usual grace she rolls over, shifting only to make more room, pushing softly so that Kanda joins them as well.

And somehow, Allen realizes with sudden exhaustion that almost seems to overcome him, he can't say he minds at all. He looks at Kanda, pale and black against the faint light of the candles that remain, at Lenalee, soft and dark with a smile that threatens to break his heart, and at Lavi, who kisses Kanda but whose arm around Allen's shoulders trembles a little and he thinks: let this be our goodbye, then.

Lavi moves his arm from around Allen's shoulder to grab at Kanda and pull him close, over his lap, and Kanda snarls before he keeps on kissing him, paying little to no attention to the way Lavi moves his hands to undress him, the kiss more fight than passion, anger and bitterness seeping there in ways than Allen realizes, there would have been no other way to say.

There is a whisper of clothes moving and Allen stops looking at them as they kiss to turn towards Lenalee, who has moved to sit near the edge of the bed and he watches as she undresses, nothing of the teasing ways the women his master had bed in the methodical way Lenalee undoes buttons and shrugs off her jacket and skirt, folding them as she stands up to leave them over a chair, how she remains with the bracelets of her innocence and then only with the the bandages around her chest and the boyish shorts she has for underwear.

Lavi and Kanda stop kissing when the mattress shifts, and they look as Lenalee walks close to the bed agai, her hair brushing her hips, her smile soft and caring despite the heartbreaking sadness in her eyes.

“Help me, please” Lenalee whispers, and this time Allen is the first one to move: he stands up, cupping Lenalee's face before he kisses her gently, feeling the rough spots where Lenalee tore the soft skin of her lips by bitting them before he deepens the kiss gently. He wonders if Lenalee has kissed before but then he decides he doesn't care as her as she moves a hand to touch his chest. The mattress creeks again and Allen's eyes flutter open for a moment, just enough to see Kanda moving behind Lenalee to undo the bandages around her chest, letting them fall to the floor like old petals, his eyes serious and quiet, and Allen feels Lavi behind him, brushing a kiss against the nape of his neck before he moves his hands to open his uniform's jacket, pressing close to him. Allen thinks he should feel crowded, perhaps, but when he stops kissing Lenalee and she smiles-- no, he feels just fine.

Kanda takes off his clothes without accepting help, just shaking his head when Lenalee reaches to help, but he doesn't deny her kiss, or the way her arms tie around his neck as Lenalee stands on her tiptoes to kiss him. Allen leans against Lavi's chest, eyes half closed, moving only as Lavi undresses him.

“I'll always remember this,” Lavi whispers, and Allen gets that it means more than what Lavi wants to say, but he also knows why Lavi murmured that with a smile on his voice, so he looks up, finds green eyes soft and kind on his.

“I'll tell,” he whispers, but then he's curling his right arm around Lavi's neck and kissing him as well, half undressed and Lavi still completely dressed, but this time he feels Lavi's shiver completely against him.

 _Did you wonder about this?_ He doesn't ask. _You who have been only facts and detachment despite it all, even after you betrayed your teacher, did you ever thought about something like this?_

“Allen,” Lavi whispers, and then Allen finds himself surrounded as Lenalee takes off his shirt for him, and even he and Kanda just half glare at each other as he gets close. Lavi keeps his eyes open as he looks at them, and a teasing remark waits at the tip of Allen's tongue before Lenalee's hugging him again, her breasts soft against his chest, as Lenalee pulls Kanda close and Kanda huffs but allows this closeness by some sort of miracle, perhaps because he isn't actually made of stone, perhaps because he's thinking of dying tomorrow and he wants to give Lenalee one last gift. Lavi undoes the buttons of his jacket slowly, not even blinking as Kanda bites his neck, hands touching every scar he has, as Lenalee's mouth brushes his pulse. So slowly he moves that Allen has to close his eyes at the intensity of it all, feeling Lenalee's hand on his hip and moving lower, brushing against wiry hair and where he's already half hard.

When he moans he opens his eyes: Lavi has moved a little behind on the bed, watching them with vivid, hungry eyes, stroking his cock as slowly as he had undressed himself, as if just the idea of doing any of this harder would actually kill him. Allen bites his lip, but before he can move and reach towards Lavi, Lenalee does it first, her hair like a shadow over the white of her skin and the tightness of her scars as she moves, laying her head against Lavi's chest, hugging him tight, as if to hide the tremble that goes through her. With barely a glance to each other, Kanda and Allen shed what remains of their clothes and join them, painfully aware of how long they have before the sunrise comes.

They barely fit in the bed: where usually three of them could sleep together, if they clung to each other and didn't move much, now they're just lucky that they're searching to be as as they possibly could, as if they could merge their skins if they only pressed together tight enough. Allen would have been surprised that even Kanda doesn't complain about it, where he's usually so aloof, but he doesn't have it in him to say anything, not right then, not with the way Lenalee seems to open her eyes constantly as if to make sure they were still there, not with the way Lavi's eyes barely hide his despair because, odds are, it's unlikely the four of them will come back.

There is not enough time and there is entirely too much to touch, to kiss, to see: the way Lenalee gasps their names as Lavi lick her folds, how her breasts feel against his mouth, how Kanda holds her as if he would never let her go if he could; how tight Lavi feels around his fingers and how he looks as he and Lenalee stroke Kanda's cock; even Kanda's weight on his back as he pressed him unto Lavi and Lenalee's embrace. Allen wishes they had days to properly explore the curve of Lenalee's back, to see more of the way Kanda's control breaks under their mouths and touch, for Lavi to swear in languages that Allen is sure no longer exist as he comes, but they have to make due with the hours they have left.

They make do with the one bed to sleep when they're done, not bothering to put back on their clothes just then. Kanda sits with his back against the wall, Lenalee's head on his lap, and Lenalee's legs rest on Lavi's, from where Lavi snores against Allen's shoulder, his arm over Allen's stomach half forgotten, half clinging. Allen keeps his eyes open and he gives Kanda a small nod, surprised when Kanda doesn't huff, just closing his eyes.  
  
Allen thinks he'll remember this closeness, tomorrow when he's fighting. He'll remember Lenalee's cries and the way Kanda had, briefly, muttered his name just once. He'll remember Lavi's mouth against his, his embrace. He'll remember the way Lenalee's hair had looked spread over the white sheets of the bed.

He'll always remember this, Allen thinks. Come what may, let it be he lives to die old and gray, let it be he meets his end today. He'll always remember this.  



End file.
